Fariza

People who think that being a Christian is boring or that the Bible is just a book of rules you must follow—or else go to hell—highly underestimate Christianity.

Being a follower of Christ is the most incredible, bizarre, adventurous, and unpredictable experience you will ever go through. The Kingdom of God does not operate the way earthly kingdoms do. Everything in God’s kingdom is upside down and often opposes the natural order of things on earth. When God says, “My ways are higher than your ways,” He means it. If you’ve walked with God for any length of time, you know this statement to be true. God does not think like human beings. He is above it all. He is Sovereign.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say, “Christianity is not a religion; it’s a relationship.” It sounds sweet and cozy, but if you think about it long enough, you will begin to realize that having a relationship with the Creator of the universe is terrifying. It carries an enormous responsibility. The Bible tells Christians to “be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Now, that’s a challenge. Does God expect you to be perfect all the time? Probably not. But if He has set a standard that He upholds and expects you to grow into—absolutely yes.

Since Christians are in a relationship with their Creator—the One who owns everything in heaven and on earth, there inevitably comes a time when we begin to wrestle with how much of the free will He’s given us aligns with His sovereignty. As you deepen your relationship with Christ and learn to trust Him in all circumstances, you’ll continually encounter the tension between your will and His will.

Years ago, I heard an incredible sermon by Tim Keller on the will of God. It changed my life and my perspective on how God operates. It pops into my mind when I’m at a turning point in my life. Keller explains that God does not forcefully impose His will on us, He gives us a choice. God knows all potential outcomes of every possible decision we make. He sees all of them from a bird’s-eye view. Because God lives outside of time and He is aware of every possible outcome, He sees the past, present and the future all at once. For example, if you have to choose between Plan A, B, or C and you ask God for guidance, He may respond by giving you the authority to decide. That means no matter which plan you choose, you will remain within His will.

He already knows where each path will lead. He already knows what you will choose. You might say that is not free will because He already knows what I will do. Well, yes and no. You still have free will and God is all knowing. Remember, He has a will but he doesn’t impose it. You get to choose which way to go.

Regardless of which plan you choose, do not be paralyzed by fear because you came to God for guidance first. Sometimes it may feel like you made the wrong decision. You come to Him frustrated and disappointed. I’ve prayed prayers like, “Did You lead me here just to abandon me? I asked for guidance, and this is what I get?” It can feel as though God intentionally led you into a painful or unfavorable situation just to let you fail. It often makes little sense, but again, you have to remember and lean on his sovereignty. He knows exactly what He’s doing. Most of the time the answers to our prayers come in the form of a setback, but in reality, they are the pathways to our promised land. 

The story of Joseph in the book of Genesis is a powerful example of how free will and God’s sovereignty work together. Joseph’s brothers made choices that caused suffering. Joseph himself made decisions that led him to hardship. But because God is merciful and loyal, He foresaw the outcomes and used them to save Joseph, his family, and the people around them. Most of the time, the very purpose of your suffering is so that God can help many others through you.

Every time I find myself at a crossroads, I wrestle with God. I often become paralyzed by indecision, afraid of making the wrong choice and stepping outside of his will for my life. I spiral into analysis paralysis; my body freezes, and I begin to doubt God’s sovereignty. I am a type A person who likes control, order, and meticulous planning. I need to know the plan ahead of time. As irrational or even silly as it may sound, I often catch myself thinking, “What if this time, He doesn’t show up?” But there’s absolutely no evidence to support that fear—God has never once proven Himself untrustworthy. Jesus has never disappointed me. Not once. If He rescued me from the threat of genocide in Tajikistan in the ‘90s as a child, I seriously doubt He’d break up with me in the middle of a crisis as an adult. Throughout the pain and suffering I have learned that in the grand scheme of things, my problems, though valid, are small and entirely solvable. 

When we ask God for wisdom and a heavenly perspective, we begin to see just how small our problems are compared to His greatness. That’s why I encourage every believer to spend as much time with God as possible throughout the day. It shifts your focus and changes your perspective. You begin to see things from his point of view, not yours. It reminds you who is really in charge.

Over the years, I’ve often heard Christians give this advice when it comes to decisions-making: ‘Just walk through whatever door is open. But is it really that simple? God opened a door for the Apostle Paul to go to Troas (modern-day Turkey) in 2 Corinthians 2:13 . Even though Paul knew God’s grace was with him, he chose not to go. Then there’s Jonah, who deliberately disobeyed God and ended up in the belly of a stinky fish for three days. The entire time he was on the boat in the storm, Jonah knew God was pursuing him. Both Paul and Jonah initially resisted God’s will, yet both ultimately fulfilled God’s purposes. Jonah went to Nineveh and brought salvation to an entire city. Paul eventually stayed in Troas and preached the gospel for a long time.

Then there’s the story of the prodigal son, who blew everything and still ended up being blessed. I’ve always felt for the older brother. I resonate with him the most. I still don’t fully understand what the Father meant when He said, “Everything I have is yours.” Did the older brother miss out because he respected the Father too much, because he felt guilty of what happened to the younger brother and overcompensated by being extra humble and never asking for anything, all while harboring quiet resentment? When the younger son came back and was showered with blessings, the older brother’s internal turmoil spilled out. He couldn’t handle the “injustice.” This whole time, the older brother could have had everything he wanted, but he chose to stay content with what he had. Both brothers had free will. One discovered God’s grace through disobedience and the other through obedience.

The story of the paralyzed man at the healing pool in John 5 haunts me more than it should. I keep hearing Jesus say, “Pick up your mat and walk.” This man waited 38 years, hoping someone would help him get into the water. When Jesus showed up, the man had no idea who He was, yet Jesus healed him anyway. It’s as if the man was waiting his entire life for someone to give him permission to start living his life. Sometimes, people long for change their entire lives, like the paralyzed man. Then one day, the Messiah shows up and tells him you to get up. You might wonder, ‘Wait, could he have done that without Jesus?’ The answer is no. You pick up your mat and go when Jesus comes and tells you to do so.

The sovereignty of God and human free will coexist simultaneously. However, God is still in control, and thank God for that. Imagine if humanity were in charge of the universe, we’d cease to exist. God owns everything. He hasn’t checked out of His creation. If He did, everything and everyone would go straight to hell.

God is the ultimate boss. Everything belongs to Him. He is in charge. Your very breath belongs to Him, and He knows exactly when it will be taken away. As much as I love my free will, every single day I gladly choose to surrender it to the Sovereign God of the universe. I trust He knows what is best for me. Sometimes He lets me make choices because He trusts me. Other times, He handles things for me because He is a loving Father who protects His child. I might not always like His decision in the moment, but in the long run He turns out to be right over and over again. It may take me some time to stop being upset with God, but eventually, I run back into the loving arms of my Father, where I find comfort and endless unconditional love.

When I lost my father to cancer in 2021, I found myself kneeling and weeping before the Holy, Sovereign, and Almighty God. I realized how much power God has and how little control I have over my life or the lives of the people that I love.

His ways are higher than our ways.

God is a gentleman—He won’t force His will on you. He will guide you. The longer you walk with Him, the more you will learn about the divine dance between your free will and His sovereignty. You will get attuned to His timing — the cosmic order, and the purpose He has for your life and the people around you. You will become childlike, eagerly anticipating the next sovereign, divinely orchestrated move of God in your life. How exciting is that?